Rehab 1 (cont 6)

Well, by now Jed is getting pretty comfortable here in colorado. He has made some friends and actually doesn't want to leave HH. He and I are pretty good friends, he is liking Nancy, he thinks he could score with Jen anytime (not the case) and he has some other friends. It's a funny thing about rehab. You get so comfortable, it is your whole world and it is so easy. I mean easy in the sense that it is all you have to worry about. They keep you isolated from the outside world as much as possible. Plus, you really get close to all these people. You are living with them, sharing your lives with them and helping each other with problems. It is so easy to be there for each other. It is kind of like a soap opera. everyone makes plans for when they get out. but once you graduate and hit the real world again it is like a smack in the face and all the problems that were there when you left are still there and in most cases much worse. In jed's case it was different. He was single, had plenty of money and time. He was on leave from work for another four weeks and didn't want to go home and sit in his apt. He made some plans with some RR guys who were from Omaha or close by. Mostly to go to meetings together or go to the gym. I new they wouldn't work out. One of the guys he made plans with was Hank. We called him "Hammerin Hank". Funniest guy in the world, but I didnt give him a chance in hell of staying sober for fifteen minutes after he left the hospital. He was one of my spades buddies in his late 20's and was also from Omaha. hank always had a huge dip of Copenhagen in his lip and always made sarcastic, r rated comments that kept me laughing. Hank worked with Jed on the RR, but he was a track repairman, kind of a low end job. Jed had to fly back to Omaha on the RR's dime after he was released from rehab. He was going to graduate about 8 days earlier than me. He begged them to let him stay and graduate with me but there was no way they would ok that. They needed the bed for the next person. Nancy was to graduate the same night as Jed and he did like that. His plan was to fly home, wait for me to graduate and then fly back and stay with me at my house for a while. he assumed that was ok but I wasn't too sure how my wife would feel about that. Well actually I did know how she would feel, No fucking way. But I just went along with it and figured it probably wouldn't work out anyway. Graduation ceremonies were kind of silly, but at the time it was the biggest deal ever. All the patients went around and said something nice about the graduate and then they give the grad a coin and a pinecone. I can't even remember what they stood for but at the time it was really bitchen.So Jed graduated and the next day he talked Nancy into riding to the airport with him. He called me and said that they really went at it waiting for his plane. that was a nice picture for me, Jed and Nancy just going at it in an airport, beautiful. He said he could have gotten laid if he could have found a place. He actually looked for a place to have sex at the airport. Anyway, Nancy came back to the hospital just in time for her family to pick her up to take her home. I really couldn't look her in the eye after that. Watching her act all humble and loving with her family kind of made me sick. Oh ya, Jed also talked her into laying on her bed naked the night before they left so he could walk in and see her too, just like lisa. What a freaking wierdo. I didn't see Nancy for about 2 years after that. I actually bumped into her at a Carls Jr. in Mesquite Nevada. I was with some of my buddies on a golfing trip and she was with Mick on their way home from Disneyland. Mick acted real happy to see me, but Nancy wanted to get the hell out of there. I could tell she felt stupid. But, I guess they were together and living in St. George Ut. Close to her family. Good Luck.
So Jed and Nancy are gone, but Jed is not forgotten. He start calling everynight. Planning his trip back as soon as a group of us that are friends all graduate. Apparently, he is still planning to stay at my house. He quickly turns his attention to Jen. He is thinking when he comes back he will have a little fling with her. I act like that is a good idea to him, but it actually kind of pisses me off. I know it shouldn't but it does. Jen and I had gotten pretty close during the time that Jed was spending more and more time with Nancy before they left. Jen and I would go for long walks outside whenever we could. It was cold and snowy but we would walk all the sidewalks at the hospital that were shoveled. A couple of times Jed would come and catch up to us and go with us. Those were the worst walks and talks of all. He was obviously good-looking and I didn't know what Jen was thinking and was certainly not my place to discourage her. That would not be a good wingman. At first my wife was jelous of me and Jen. One visit day she went on a walk with all of the three of us, me, jed and Jen. I think this made her feel much better. Jen was kind of strange and funny and obviously there was something going on between Jed and Jen so that worked out. I was glad to have a friend to talk to and make me laugh and I could make her laugh.
One time we had to have a group session with families. It was pretty intense. Jen's dad had been an alcoholic for about 20 years. He would drink a 12 pack of beer every night and whiskey on the weekends. All of it down in their basement in front of the t.v. alone. Then one day, after a doctor visit he just quit. Never drank again. So he stayed very quiet during the group session. Towards the end Julia pushed him a little bit to speak, he finally just blew a gasket. He was like " this is all bullshit. It's not a disease or psycho babble bullshit. if you want to quit, quit. that all there is to it." The more Julia would argue with him about medical tests and this and that has been proven the madder he would get. I could see his point, but it sure felt better to me to think that there was a disease that was making me do this. If it was just that I am a really weak person, that would just confirm what I had always thought and that really puts me into a deep depression. the disease concept really gave me hope that I could get better. I just kept wondering, when am I going to start to feel better? I don't know how much more of this I can take.
that is all I have got for now, i should be able to finish up rehab 1 soon, so hang in there.
peace.