Rehab (cont 9)

I had stopped hanging with everyone except Jen. Jed was long gone and I think he was mad at me for kicking him out of my house and blowing him off when he did stuff with the group. He was trying to make me feel bad by not calling but I was ready for that relationship to end. We were just too different. I needed to move on with life and he was still young and in a different mode than me. So, I didn't ever call him. Jen and I were still hanging out a little. Sometimes after meeting we would go get coffee and talk for awhile. One night I picked Jen up for a meeting. She said "you know, I don't feel like going to a meeting. Let's blow it off and hang out". I wasn't a big fan of the meetings anyway so I agreed. We went and got some food at a cafe and then got some coffee and sat in my truck in the parking lot of a shopping center. Jen was very easy to talk to and she made me laugh and I made her laugh. We always got along, but she was so bizarre. The kind of person who you never know what they are going to say or do. I think at that time I needed to hang out with someone like that. However, all of a sudden she started talking in a different way about different things. she was like,"You know, I think your girls would love me, and that I would love them". That really got me thinking. what the hell was she talking about. Then she said it "Let's just take off for awhile, just disappear". I knew exactly what she was talking about. She wanted to leave and go on a bender. Maybe come home and see what happens. I really wasn't ready to give up on my family and mostly my wife. I was soo disapointed that she had said that. I didn't really want to lose her as a friend, but that was it. I would be lieing if I said I didn't think about it. I thought about it for 30 seconds. I liked Jen, I really did, but I could easily look into my future with this unstable person. It wasn't pretty. I was sure that she thought I had a lot of money as well. I didn't. She had seen my house and my wife's car and she was sitting in my brand new truck, all of which was about to be reposessed. That was the closest I ever came to cheating on my wife. That night. I felt guilty about being alone in a truck with a girl who was willing to fool around right then. I told her "Let's think about it, and make some plans" which is exactly how you don't start a bender. I think she took that as her answer. I never took her calls after that or tried to call her. I never went to meetings in her area anymore after that. I think about Jen a lot. I hope she is alright, she is a really cool person. She has some cool tatoos and she doesn't have one on her lower back.
Well that is all for now, sorry for taking so long. I have really been fighting a tough case of the blues. I always forget that writing in this blog helps a lot.
peace.