Rehab 1 (cont 7)

So Jed is in Omaha, Nancy is gone, Mick has been kicked out and we are starting to get new patients in our group. On Jed's nightly calls he would ask about all the girls he considered hot enough to score with when he came back. I was still acting like it would be cool for him to come and stay with me for a couple of weeks. I hadn't actually told my wife of those plans yet though. One of the girls Jed was interested in was Jane. The cute little heoin addict in my group. she was very hot, but she was interested in TJ. However, TJ had just graduated and Jane had about another week in the hospital. Jane always seemed to be doing so great physically. If she had been doing as much heroin as she said, I was amazed how good she seemed to be feeling. I remember many times in group saying how I felt so shitty. But watching Jane was my inspiration. She was always happy and never seemed to be in pain. Jane was inpatient and she was good friends with a Cocaine addict named Kim. Kim was outpatient, she would come to the hospital and 7 a.m. and leave to go home at 10 or 10:30 p.m. everynight. I guess her insurance wouldn't pay for her to stay at the hospital. She seemed very dedicated to getting better and was never late or never left early. She even quit smoking during her time at HH. She would always bring things to people from the store. Mostly cigarettes, but also treats or toothpaste, stuff like that. I remember once at a family group session telling Jane's parents how awesome their daughter was. How she inspired me every day. I wanted what she had, she actually seemed to be getting better, while I was getting worse. The pain and the cravings only got worse and worse as time went by. If I wasn't active or talking to someone I couldn't think of anything else. Jane was always nice to me but really made it clear that she was not into Jed. I don't think Jed was her type at all. She was more into like the ski bum or surfer type of guy. Maybe if Jed had been a great skate boarder he would have had a chance. I remember the day before Jane left. When ever someone graduated they had to have a 30 day stay sober plan. It was exactly what they were going to do to get through the first 30 days. They also had to have a long term plan. Jane was going to attend 60 AA or NA meetings in 30 days, get and call a sponsor and stay away from her old using friends and call new friends from the hospital or that she met at meetings for help or social situations. Her long term was to go back to work at the ski resort she had been working at for 2 years. That concerned Julia because she often used at work. We all voiced concern about that. See she presents her plans in front of all of us and we all give feed back on the plan. She assured us that there were plenty of good people at the resort and she was the one who brought the shit to work. She was also going to go back to college and that she had been a great student before she started using. We asked about her plans with TJ in the future. She said that they were planning to see each other and just see what happened, that nothing serious was planned. Well, after some arguing back and forth we all finally signed off on the plan. Mostly because I got up and vouched for her. I said just look at her how great she is doing. I told everyone how we had some long talks while everyone else was out smoking and that I had all the faith in the world in Jane. So Jane graduated. It was a good ceremony and everyone was bawling and telling her how great she was and how awesome she was going to do on the outside.
Two days later she was back in detox. I turns out her outpatient friend was bringing her heroin everyday. She would sneak in two loaded rigs everyday. Jane was getting high the whole time. Shooting up even. When I thought about it she never did wear short sleeves even though it was often very hot in there. I guess we never noticed because it was winter time outside. I talked to her briefly and she said that when she got out TJ was already using hardcore again and was moving to Utah to get work at a ski resort there. Jane ended up in a different program that was intensive outpatient. I never talked to her again, but I did consider her a good friend and I think she did the same thing that almost any addict would do. I always wonder what I would have done if I would have had someone to sneak drugs to me everyday and I had parents who would keep giving me money. I would not be possible with OC, they are too expensive, but with Heroin it would be different. Obviously I cheated once in HH, but everyday, that just seems like such a huge waste of time.
Well I have to get back to work, talk to you tomorrow
peace