Ok, so here I am. In the ER, just got a shot of something in the ass and starting to feel better. My wife and my father are sitting there. I'm thinking, if they will take me home, I could get hooked up tomorrow and go on with life. I am also thinking, I owe the supply houses over 100 thousand dollars, my employees are expecting checks in two days, I am behind on my Mortagage payment, all my vehicle payments, the repo guy has already been by the house to get our 4-wheelers, basically I don't want to go home. My wife and dad are wanting me to get some help anyway. I might as well disappear for a while.
Now the guy who I was getting a lot of shit from(we will call him Mike) never would answer his phone. I had been trying to get a hold of him all day. We would score a lot (score=get drugs) together and share a lot. we both had a lot of contacts in the drug world and helped each other out all the time. I can't remember where he was that day, but he wasn't answering. You have to understand real friends and drug friends. Drug friends always lie to each other, It's all about protecting your shit and your hooks. But I knew Mike would atleast get me high, he might say that it was the last pill he had, which would be a lie, but he would help me out. I had helped him many times and you always remember stuff like that. Mike had had some back surgeries and was going to a pain clinic. He would always tell me that I needed to go and get hooked up. It would mean paying for a Dr. visit and paying for treatment but this dude would right serious OC's. Mike had many other sources and he was also on Heroin. He didn't know that I knew that but it was obvious. Who wears long sleeves golfing in 100 degree weather? It's called hiding track marks. He would always deny it and I just let it go and let him think I believed him.
So back to the ER. So we head out for the hospital's medical detox unit, I was there for 8 days while we found a treatment center. WE really didn't know what to do, no one in my family had ever had problems like this, so my family had no idea what was the correct thing to do. No one knew what I was feeling or how hard this was going to be. I was thinking this will be great, I will get cleaned up for a few weeks, then I should be able to get high and feel it again for a while. So I was in this little detox unit with some real strange people, I liked some of them and it was easy. I just layed around watched tv, ate meals, bullshited with the other patients. Everyone loved to tell there war stories, a theme that is consistant with all rehab centers. 95% bull shit. But every 4 hours I was sure to go to nurses station and get my shot in the ass. It was awesome. After a couple of days I decided to call Mike and see what was going on. He was pissed off. I guess the freind that had picked me up at Wal-Mart that day(we'll call him Sean) had called Mike and told him to leave me and my family alone. That I was getting cleaned up and no longer needed Mike as a friend. It had ended up with them blowing up at each other and mike told Sean to fuck off and hung up. Now he wanted to know who else thought he was using with me. I finally convinced him I never even told Sean, but we all went to the same high school and it wasn't that hard to figure out. So any way after 8 days I was getting all ready to go to the rehab center my family had found. Most of the other patients at the detox were kicking alcohol. I learned that alcohol withdrawals are brutal, one guy was shaking so bad he couldn't even drink his coffee. He always had a coffee cup, but he never could drink it without spilling all over himself. He would have hallucinations and freak out it was awful. I was feeling pretty shitty too. I had the haze over my brain and I still had the shits a little but I felt 100 times better than when I got there. My roommate @ detox was a construction worker who was a hard core heroin slammer (injects heroin) he told me he would come here and detox sometimes in between jobs. he was really hurting bad. As I was leaving I mentioned to him that I had snuck two Analgesic patches in and hadn't used them. He immediately started begging me for them. An Anelgesic patch is very poweful, it is for terminal cancer patients who can't swallow pills and can't be at a hospital with an IV in. In bold print on the package it says keep away from heat because the medicine will release too quickly into the body. Within minutes he had a patch on each ass cheek and was in a hot shower. I felt bad about giving them to him but if I had kept them I would eventually use them. I couldn't bring myself to throw them away, I had tried soo many times but I just couldn't do it. Atleast they brought him some relief.
So I was on my way to Hillcrest Hospital(HH I'll call it), a rehab center in the Denver area. My little bro and his wife and my wife had come to pick me up and take me to HH. A little awkward, but my wife was really standing by to this point. She had no idea what she was getting into, I had no idea what I was getting into. At HH you start out in detox, I told them that I had already detoxed but they made me start there anyway. I soon realized that all the beds were full in the regular part, so they made me stay in detox for a week. My roommate was a stupid cowboy from Utah. He worked for the rail road and I soon realized that about 60% of the patients at HH worked for the railroad(RR). Any RR employee who tested positive for anything, even alcohol was sent to HH, so what happens is you end up with a bunch of hard asses who really don't think that they have a problem. When you work for the rr, you are always on call and they can test you anytime, so if a guy drinks one beer after work and gets tested, he will end up at rr. At first all the rr guys intimidated me. I had to tell myself, even though I felt like shit, that I wouldn't take any crap from these guys. HH is a rehab based on the 12 step programs like AA, NA, CA or really anything anonymous. One thing you had to do was admit you were an addict or alcoholic and that you are powerless over drugs and alcohol. Some of the rr guys wouldn't admit that and it was a real pain in the ass listening to them argue about it. Eventually I made friends with a bunch of rr guys. Every night we would play spades until lights out. My room mate however, was a total ass hole. Everyone in detox has to see the HH shrink. All he did for me was prescribe a bunch of shit that made me feel lethargic. After two weeks I was stuttering and slurring my speech. I would also talk really fast. The whole time was a haze.
Well that is all for now, talk to you later. I met some really interesting people at HH. I can't decide if I should take the time to go through the whole experience or not. Oh well.
Peace.
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