Slipping back into hell

That weekend turned into every weekend, before long I was using every day. Pretty soon all my paychecks were going to OC's. My paychecks weren't huge but my wife had her little stash of money, so she wasn't too worried about it. Pretty soon I was finding side jobs doing heating and a/c and electrical work and spending less time at work. My friend that I was working for kind of new what was going on. In fact, soon everyone knew what was going on. My wife had had enough and she kicked my out of the house one night. I lived in Braden, my bosses basement for about couple of weeks. I was still going over to the house just about every evening and hanging with the kids. My wife just wouldn't let me take the kids while I was high. I explained to her that I really don't get high, at all. She wouldn't budge. I had a friend piss in a bottle, then went into a drug testing place and dumped it into the urine sample container. I passed. She let me take the girls on daddy-daughter dates. They weren't what the girls were used to because I was totally broke. But I did the best I could. I was spending a lot of time at home just not sleeping there. My wife and I were still in love,just going through a very rough time. We were still active if you know what I mean.

After living with Braden for a couple of weeks I moved a bed into the basement of the office and slept there. Everyone had a really good laugh out of that. I was there for about a month. One night a janitor heard me and called the cops. I had no idea he had called. Right about then I had taken my last rip of the night. I had four 80mg OC's in a baggie left after my "night cap". I usually wasn't too worried about where I put them, since I was rarely disturbed in the basement. But occasionally some of the guys would come into work early and they thought it was real funny to come into my room and jump on my bed while I was sleeping. So I stuffed the baggy into the toe of one of my shoes. 10 minutes later, there was a knock on the door of the room I was in, it was the damn police dept. They came in guns drawn and everything. I explained to them that I was having marital problems and had been kicked out of the house, after that they were a little more understanding. So they decided to search the place and let me go. I was freaking out. I had to go out into the parking lot while they went through all my stuff. Luckily, they didn't find anything. There were drugs and paraphanalia (sp) . They had called Braden and made sure that I had permission, but the owner of the building was not okay with someone sleeping there, so that was the last night there. My parent were in the middle of building a new house and It was taking longer than promised so there old house had been sold. So the builder/developer was putting them up in a hotel. I really had nowhere to go. That is when I started living in my Chevy Tahoe. Good thing it was a roomy car. However, it was still very cold at night. That sucked.

I was showing up to work less and less and trying to do more construction side jobs for quick cash. Soon I just wasn't making enough money. So one evening when I was visiting my family I took one of my wife's check books. I started writing myself checks and cashing them. I figured it was my money just as much as it was her money. The only part of the scheme I felt guilty about was watching my wife try to balance her checkbook in the weeks that followed. She would get so frustrated. I wanted to tell her badly. I really did. With the amount of money that I had access to my addiction really couldn't get too out of hand. I rarely did a whole 80mg OC at a time. I had to make it last. I was scoring from two fairly unreliable hooks. I did spend some time jonesing hard, but for the most part it was bearable.
That is all the time I have for today. Next time I will tell about how this whole thing blew up in my face. I was actually relieved, but not happy to have landed in rehab number two. Until next time, Peace.