So, where was I? Oh ya.So we are just plugging along as a family. We're doing ok, but we are definately having struggles. Many of them financial. My wife was extremely patient and loving but I think she was getting to the point where she needed more. She wanted out of that basement. A major problem in the past was our religion. We were both raised LDS or Mormon as many people know us. My wife desperately wanted a man who could take her to the temple, lead the family in scripture study, family prayer all the things that she would call "normal." We were married two weeks after my 20thbirthday and she wasn't even 18 and pregnant. 6 months later we went to the temple and were sealed to my 1st child. I was doing it for all the wrong reasons, I wasn't sure. I just knew this is what everyone told us we were supposed to do. The next time I went to the temple was about 10 years later. It was after my 1st rehab, I was already back on drugs. I was under immense pressure to get my temple recommend and go back. The Bishop was pushing, my wife was pushing, our friends were pushing. If I was off drugs like I said, why wasn't I going to the temple. I had no choice in my mind. I told everyone what they wanted to hear and there I was, at the temple. Worst feeling in my life, I never went back.
So we found a house, near our old house that we might be able to afford. I would have to have my Dad buy the house because my credit was destroyed. I was going through a bakruptcy and wasn't making very much money. I think my dad just thought I needed to get out of that basement and into a house like a normal family.
I had only moved back in with my family for about 3 months when we moved into our new house. Everything was going good, except financially. Then one day I was working on a side job and I fell and hurt my neck. I didn't think much of it, my neck was stiff and hurt all the time. At work I was sitting at a computer all day and I was having a hard time with the pain. Finally, my little brother and his friends, he works with all his friends, said that I should go see a doctor. I mean I had insurance I might have something really wrong. so off I went to the insta-care. I didn't tell my wife or anyone I was going, I just went. The Insta-Care Dr. thought that it was serious enough that he ordered an MRI for that day. Still, I didn't tell anyone what I was doing. So after the MRI the Radiologist came out with the films. He said that I had herniated two discs and one other one was bulging badly. He said I needed to see a Nuero Surgeon right away and he would make me an appointment. He explained my injury in detail after that but all I can remember is blah blah blah blah blah the surgeon will give you something for the pain. I kind of froze, I was still clean from the Cali rehab but I think I knew what I was doing. Why would I do all that without telling anyone. So I went to the surgeon. Sure enough he said I needed surgery. I asked if I could try physical therapy first. that was just a ploy to stretch out the painkillers. I would just go to PT and then tell the Dr. it wasn't working. I was still clean but already thinking like that. So he wrote me some Percocet. I sat in my car looking at them for awhile, then I chewed two of them up and crushed and snorted two more. It felt so good, so great. I remembered how great it felt. I was back on the shit. But this time i was telling myself "no OC's, just the fast acting stuff". I was kidding myself into thinking I could get off them myself. I kept putting the surgery off, making excused until the surgeons office said no more. So I was in trouble. No more refills. The doc even called me and said he thought I might have a problem and to get treatment. I was screwed. Then I remembered a friend of mine who had died about 6 months earlier was going to a pain specialist. He was a spine dr. and used prolotherapy. That is a series of shots into the injured area that is supposed to be an alternative to surgery. I knew this guy would write heavy painkillers. I finally found him and set up an appt.
I will finish next time. got to go,
peace
No comments:
Post a Comment